In the summer of 2003, the author, a NICU nurse, traveled to California after leaving an unhealthy relationship. A routine trip to the Santa Monica Farmers Market turned into a life-altering tragedy when 86-year-old Russell Weller’s “pedal error” caused his Buick to speed through the crowd, killing 10 and injuring many more. Cronin was hospitalized with scarring, memory loss, and PTSD, forced to relearn basic functions and rebuild her life. This moving account of her recovery explores the many conflicting post-trauma emotions people experience, from confusion to anger to survivor’s guilt. The empathy the author extends to both Weller and her fellow victims underscores her attempt to find meaning in the incident: “Was it meant to be that the ones struck were there at the right place and time? Were we all present that day as a result of our own free will? Was it meant to be that Russell Weller be the driver? Russell Weller the cue ball, the rest of us solids and stripes.” Cronin excels at folding in elements from her past (like her struggles with anorexia and her history of playing the Irish fiddle) into contemplations of her uncertain future, and the story comes most fully alive at the intersection between the two. One of the book’s most moving elements is the author’s relationship with her future husband, John, whom she met through a friend in the Irish music scene. Their tender romance is presented as a mutually restorative constant throughout the healing process, as evidenced by their first kiss: “John’s pupils dilate. I can see through them. I can see myself, my focused brown eyes, the right one that easily wanders now still and centered.” Cronin’s piercing prose pays tribute to the inherent good in us all.
