The author compares resilient people to willow or palm trees, simultaneously rooted and flexible, and grief as unexpressed love for something or someone lost. The book goes on to put grief into three categories: physical only (loss of objects), emotional only (loss of opportunities), and physical and emotional (death, divorce). The author reassures readers that “it’s okay to live with grief and to keep living.” Compassion, she says, bridges the gap between oneself and others, and it’s comprised of four components: perspective-taking, sympathy, empathy, and care. Energy is divided into two categories—kinetic (active) and potential (dormant); it affects one’s ability to put the best self forward and engage with the world, the author asserts. She encourages journaling, actively giving thanks, and practicing reflection to make feelings of gratitude more reflexive. The book also presents karma as a “Universal Law” of cause and effect; its patterns can be healed through prayer, mantras, and blessings, Faulkner says. The work concludes by contrasting “life by design” with “life by default” and encourages readers to live actively and deliberately. Overall, this is a thoughtful book that effectively invites readers to work toward greater self-awareness. The consistent chapter structure, with each involving “Who, What, When, Where, Why, and How” sections, makes the material easy to follow. The language can be convoluted at times (“A person who desires to be resilient, and isn’t willing to do the work, will end up in a constant cycle of chasing resilience, which ultimately undermines any resilience they may have already had, making it the one way resilience can actually fade or fail”); at other moments, it’s oddly stilted (“Grief is most commonly expressed through tears”). That said, Faulkner does offer some empowering lines along the way, such as “Who you choose to become is up to you,” and readers navigating loss will find concepts like “The Grief-Life Ratio” relatable and reassuring.
